Day 19: My East Coast Family

My mom is youngest in a family with three brothers, two of which are over 10 years older.  So my mom became an aunt at age 10 to Jimmy (my cousin). His dad, my Uncle Ken, followed the same pattern of his parents and had a girl, Julia, when Jimmy was 10 (another cousin). Though they are a decade apart, my cousins both had kids around the same time, when I was about 10. The oldest of those, Mae, had a baby, Devin, a year and a half ago.  Devin would essentially be my third-cousin, but at this point no one keeps count. All we know is we all love each other.

I've started to call this part of my clan the "East Coast Family" because they all live in the Melbourne/Cocoa area.  My East Coast Family is bigger than the relatives I've mentioned. My family includes my cousins' spouses, their family and friends.

Take Uncle Tony for example.  He's always at family gatherings, it wouldn't be a party without him, but I still don't understand how or if we are related.  But that doesn't matter, everyone calls him Uncle Tony. My kind of family.

Day 18: Waves of the Ocean

One of my favorite things in the world is the feeling of being engulfed by the waves of the ocean. That's one of the reasons why I prefer the beaches of Florida's east coast compared to our gulf beaches. The waves are bigger in the Atlantic.

And I love the brief sensation of a loss of control. When I'm swallowed by a big wave there is a moment where I don't know up from down, left from right. Or if I time it just right, and head in the right direction, I'll be taken to shore.

When I'm in the ocean, I can't help but remember that it's is where I came from. Its always like returning home.

Day 17: The King of Pop

Between the ages of 6 and 12 I was obsessed with Michael Jackson. OBSESSED. The most rented movie by me from our local blockbuster was The Making of Thriller. I probably saw that movie at least 20 times.  And I made sure I had my own copy of Moonwalker. Saw that one at least 50. I was proud to be a card-holding member of the official fan club. I was captivated by this man, as many others were and still are.

When news of allegations started to surface it became "uncool" to like MJ, but my love went on.  Watching his magic on stage is a big part of what lead me to explore the power of performance.  In a way, he inspired me to create Open Mic at Cafe Hey, a place where others can share their gifts.

Though I'll also admit things got a little weird in his later years, I still feel he was an invaluable gift to our world. Michael showed us both the best and the worst of human nature. The grand capacity for love as well as the depths of self-destruction. I feel confident to say I truly believe that if I were in his shoes, I would have done the same. He was a prophet with a microphone. Give Moses some talent and place him in modernity; I will bet we'd get some messy truth too.

I remember two things from him very loud and clear: I am not alone and if I want to make a change, I've got to start here.  Ain't nothing truer than that.

Day 16: Chocolate

There is only one person I know that would disagree with me, and they are just an anomaly. I love chocolate and feel lucky to get to taste that sweetness often.  For years I've kept a small dish in my treatment room with mints and dark chocolate kisses. Every so often I will sneak one for myself at the end of a long day - or a short one. I don't need much excuse for chocolate.  I suppose I learned it from my mom. She is known to say that "Every woman should have a little bit of chocolate everyday."

Oh I do.

Day 15: The Passing Storm

I rarely ever prepare for big storms. Sure, a lax attitude may come back to bite me sometime but for the most part I've spared myself the stress and hassle. I don't know if it has something to do the way Tampa Bay is shaped or the wind currents or what, but most often we prepare for the worst and all we get is a little wet.

So even though I really didn't think Isaac was going to make a full appearance in Tampa, I am thankful it seems to be off on its merry way across the Gulf.  A little inconvenience of rain is totally okay with me. I've lived in Florida my whole life; it's just another stormy, summer day.

Day 14: Wonderful Parents

I can be thankful for a lot of things, but none of that gratitude is possible without my parents because, well, they are how I got here to feel gratitude in the first place.  I'd say the fact that I've taken on a project like 101 Days of Gratitude shows what a great job they did in getting me up and going in the world. My abundant positivity and drive to create a better world has a lot to do with what I've learned from them.

Here's a few things in particular I am grateful for concerning my parents:

1. They are still together. Its getting rarer and rarer to find couples that have stayed together long term, but my parents are one of them. This year they celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary! Just like any couple who's been together that long, they've had some hard moments.  But they've continued on in their love and still show me what it means to truly love and accept someone.

2. They are totally themselves. If you've met my parents, you'll quickly learn that they have learned to be just who they are. They also allow each other to be themselves, even though they are totally different people.  In this space I've been able to learn to be myself and they support that too.

3. They are always there for me. This is a biggie. I've known others who have not always gotten support from their parents and it has made me realize what a gift this is. There has never been a need of mine that they have not helped me fulfill.  They've always believed in my dreams no matter how out there they are and because of that I've achieved some of them already.

Mom and Dad posing at their neighbor's party last weekend. They were the life of the party!

Day 13: When Something Clicks

Yesterday I was driving and someone cut me off. Not really bad, but it was definitely my right of way and they went instead. As I continued on behind them I felt my mind starting to form the thought of being upset. I saw a bumper sticker on their car for the Christian radio station and I felt myself starting to "go there" with the thought. And then in the next moment - ZAP - I felt the judgement, still not fully formed, suddenly disappear from my consciousness. The whole instance happened in only a few seconds, and all I was left with was awe.

I'm usually having to backtrack negative thought patterns; meaning I will have them, then realize it, then reframe the whole thing.  This experience yesterday was a completely different process that I had never consciously witneseds before. It was like some new metal alignment took place.

All I can say is yoga is definitely working for me.

Day 12: Truthful Praise

Last night was another great open mic at Cafe Hey. This little open mic grew out of my desire to have a place where I could freely share my art and myself, and meet others who desire the same. It has turned into an ever-shifting community of people, that is creating positive change in the world more than I could have ever imagined. I have made many friends through the open mic, or had friends convert into open mic attendees and feel blessed that every week I get to go to a place where I'm loved, accepted, and even sometimes praised.

I will acknowledge that it is difficult for me to write the last word in the previous paragraph, but after last night I think I need to get over it.  In all the amazingness that was shared last night there were two moments in particular that pulled my heart-strings to tightly I thought they might snap.

The first was when one of our hosts and good friend of mine shared a poem named after me. It's not about me per se, but about his experience with an emotional release session with me.  He shared his experience with working with me as a therapist and how it helped him tremendously in his healing. I felt blessed to have a shout out like that.

But apparently he was not the only one who felt compelled to let the people know the good news that they can feel better and that I might be the one to help them.  We had a last minute sign up by another friend of mine who happened to be in that night.  He  also shared his experience with seeing me for treatment and the resulting disappearance of crippling migraines that plagued him his entire life. That's a big claim in itself. But then it went further. He also told a story of when he was in his darkest moment, and how out of all the friends he thought of, it was me, the thought of me, that helped to pull him out of despair. Wow. He said, "Nyssa is a light in this world and you all need to know it."

The tautness of my heart-strings reached a breaking point in that moment.  My heart didn't break, it broke open.

Day 11: Water Whenever

I have access to running water everyday and almost anywhere I go. This is such a privilege that I've always had and I often forget what an amazing gift this is. But not today. 

Water is in the top three things that we can't live without for very long. Now that I've been paying a little bit of attention, I use it for everything! Drinking, cooking, showering, brushing my teeth, washing clothes or dishes, washing hands, watering plants, washing cars, mopping...the list goes on. 

Water is the basis of where life came from, and what keeps it going. I'm going to make sure I treat mine right. 

Have you thanked your water today?

Day 10: An Abundance of Food

As I got it my car, leaving the grocery store, this thought struck me: I just walked into a building containing a vast variety of food and got to wander around leisurely deciding what I'd like to eat.  This is a task I do regularly, but rarely do I think of how incredible this scenario is, or would appear, to many others in the world.

Despite moments of "there's nothing to eat" when I'm feeling lazy or desiring to eat for taste instead of nutrition, there is always so much around for me to eat. In feeling daily gratitude, gratitude for the food that nourishes me throughout the day needs to be at the top of my list.

So today, this one goes out to all the food in my life. The good, the bad, and the yummy.

Day 9: More Yoga! More Yoga!

Yesterday I met with one of my yoga teachers privately and became again enraptured with yoga's techniques in the practice of living.  I'm so thankful to have been introduced to this teacher, to be led on this path, and to be continuing my way through it. There is challenges, often, but the payoff of peace and presence makes it well worth it.

Actively incorcorating more yoga into my life is continuing to seem like one of the best things I might do. Ever. That's a lot to be thankful for.

Day 8: A Man with a Green Thumb

After seeing the purple longbeans (lower right) that seemed to just sprout up in my boyfriend's front yard yesterday, it only seemed appropriate to acknowledge this gift. I am so thankful to have a boyfriend that knows about growing things!


I still remember how the first time he came over he had beans in his pockets and planted them along the fence in my yard. Some died, some survived, and some thrived. This is where I learned maybe the most important gardening technique: Just put something in the ground and see what happens.  I guess over time, you learn more what works or doesn't. As far as I can tell, that's what my boyfriend has done. Oh, and regularly collects manure and leaves. Can't forget about that.

I still think it's magical, he's says it's just variety and persistence. Somehow I feel both are true.

Day 7: Radiolab

I love radio. I might also say that I am thankful for radio period, but it's good to be specific. There are many shows I am thankful for, but there is one that I've been listening to lately.

Though my radio connoisseur friend would disagree, I am grateful Radiolab is around. It's a science show, but a hip version. Maybe like if Science Friday and Snap Judgement had a baby. Or something.

Anyways, it has two hosts and will usually cover a broad topic then include several segments on that theme, always with creative production. It's where I learned about the "coopertino effect" and how new words on 'thinking' actually produces new thinking, among many other amazing things. The show is both entertaining and thought-provoking, and for me seems to always brush the tip of the infinite. And I like that.

Don't take my word for it, check it out yourselves. LISTEN HERE.

Day 6: My Fur Friends

Today's gratitude goes out to my pups. They aren't really puppies, but sometimes have so much energy I confused them with young ones. Baylee, the cockapoo, has been with me since 2005. Gracie, black lab mix, came to live with us around 2010 and they've been best buds since. These little creatures help to keep me in the moment.  They are always ready for love and playtime.  Its amazing to me how they can read emotions. Just the other day I was sharing with my boyfriend something unpleasant about my day and Baylee's sympathetic response was immediate. He might not be able to understand what I say, but he knows what it means. When I wake up or come home, there are two excited little beings ready to greet me.  I know they are both excited to see me and also wondering when is the next time we are going to go outside. They remind me how important it is for us all to spend a little time everyday outdoors.

Day 5: Therapy for Me

I've learn how important it is to make sure that I am receiving regular massage sessions. Even still, there is a part of me that resists it sometimes.  Just like with yoga, the rational part of me thinks that "I could get so much done with that time." Somehow that part forgets that taking the time out for self-care IS getting a lot done.

This afternoon I had a session scheduled and leading up to the appointment I was resisting getting on the table. For those that don't know, SET sessions are not always the most enjoyable massages but are also the ones that make the most change. Sure enough we found some pretty uncomfortable spots that had me breathing heavy and even shed a few tears. And you know what? I feel better and have been more productive in the time since the session than I feel like I would have been if I worked the whole time.

Day 4: Reunions and New Friends

A few months ago I made an executive decision: I was going to see my friends Mark and Iris this summer, for real.  Mark and Iris were friends from my Religious Studies days at USF. I met them both in a class my first year. Iris sat in front of me; Mark was the TA.  Iris and I became fast friends and ended up living together a few years later after I moved out of my parents.  Her and Mark started dating soon after and he became a frequent visitor of our apartment. Our second year living together, Mark joined us.  What a happy home it was.  

These are some of my favorite people. Ever. Those fond memories of being in collage, still young and harmlessly reckless but mostly silly, for me are imprinted with memories of these folks. A few others, of course, but Mark and Iris were part of the inner circle. 

After our second year of living together, they both graduated, packed their bags and moved to Boulder, CO. Five years flew by and I was still repeating the same mantra: I'll come visit next summer. Finally a voice in my head said, "Enough!" and I promptly bought plane tickets before any voice of pseudo-reason could get a word in. What a great choice that was. I brought my boyfriend, who was lovingly accepted into the family. He even found a friend who got all his obscure Simpsons references (Mark) and for that I'm sure he's thankful too. 

The four of us after a hike in the Rockies

Day 3: New Clients

It's new clients that keep my practice alive. As one of the counselors that's now working in our office says, "My job is to work my way out of a job because my clients get better."  This can apply to me too so its crucial to keep the new ones coming in.

Thanks to a once new-client-turned-regular, I had two new clients today!  Both sessions went really well and I got to do what I love - open another's eyes to the possibility of living without pain and discomfort.

Day 2: A Loaner Ride

A week ago I realized that the car I just bought had a major leak in the trunk. Bummer. I guess the leak itself wasn't major, but it needed serious bodywork instead of just a replacement liner like I was hoping.  It ended up needing to be in the shop all week, and I had a full week of work after having just come back from vacation. I would have hated to miss more work because of this.





But as it turns out, I didn't have to. My mom let me use car (left) all week. It all worked out wonderfully, even gave us an excuse to hang out on Friday and go by the new Kaleisia Tea space (one of our favorite places). It almost makes me thankful the car thing happened...almost.

THANKS MOM!

Day 1: Memories of Clint

Just yesterday I discovered that a good friend of mine passed away in a car accident earlier this month.  I saw a picture of him on Facebook with words about "loving memories" and "passing on" that led me to check out his page to find several messages about his gentle, loving soul and how he will be missed. I agree with them all.

It only seems appropriate to start this project off with my gratitude for getting to share some time with this man. Clint showed me, and many others, the wonders of raw food. He taught me how to make salads, enlivened my love for kale, and is the reason I own a dehydrator.  It was also through Clint that I connected with an awesome group of friends. In a lot of ways, this guy changed my life.

I would like to dedicate this project to his memory. Clint was an incredible inspiration to those around him, may his love for health and good food live on in us all.

Here's a video of him in his element showing Tim Van Orden, a raw food athlete, the how-to on foraging Florida foods.

If I got a chance to talk to Clint one last time, I would want him to know that I can't make a salad without thinking of him and that I am so thankful he was here for his time with us.

What I Think I Know About Gratitude

A few weeks ago I decided to start a project called "101 Days of Gratitude," where I will recognize at least one thing everyday that I am grateful for.

For practice, I had one week a few weeks ago where I was actively posting on Facebook/Twitter something I was thankful for everyday. After the first few days, I started to notice how it often I wanted to post multiple things a day.  It was like I broke the gratitude seal or something. Once I started to look around for something to be grateful for, I couldn't help but notice an increasing variety of gratefulness.  This in turn, brightened my mood, shifted perspectives on my life and how it was moving along. It seemed true that practicing active gratitude helped me to see, or possibly to create, more things to be grateful for.

I anticipate a similar result from this project, but am unsure of how the longer time span will affect the outcome. My life may be about to radically change. But, gratitude project or not, this is always true, the excitement of which is one thing I am grateful for.  

Letter to the Editor

Here's another example of what I wrote about in the last post:

When I started this blog months ago, I changed my gmail chat status to the title of the blog with a link.  Just today I had my friend, who is an editor, send me a message and ask, "Isn't it supposed to be "Not So Seriously?"

Only then did I realize that it read, "No So Seriously" and has for months.

Oh. My. Gosh. Not So Seriously doesn't mean sloppy.  It just means that I don't get to feel bad about it. In fact, I think it quite funny.  Thank goodness for friends with sharper eyes than I.

All in the Editing

So the word on the street is that my blog posts are too long.  Or as my friend rephrased, "Its not that they are all too long, it is just that for the amount of words you are writing you are not saying that much."

Wow. Alright then.

So as I coax my confidence out of the dark corner, I thought I'd write about it. Try, try again, right?

In my contemplation on these observations I think I've realized a key point here: I avoid editing. The act of composition gets all my attention and then I want to be done with it.  In the last few years my writing practice has focused on learning to write my first thoughts, let go of the internal censor, allow my deeper voices to uncover themselves. It seems now that I forgot this is just the first step in the creating writing that I want to share.

Leaving first thoughts as first thoughts is just fine if I'm the only one reading it.  But if I want to put it out for others then it's best I clean it up a bit. I don't want to read someone else's mess. And I'm sure you don't want to either.

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We'll mark this as the beginning of my "Say More with Less" campaign and I proudly affirm that this post has been edited for your reading pleasure.