Day 26: This Breath

Today was a little more emotional than usual. First off, over the past week my grandmother has been slipping farther into her transition from this earth. At least that's how I am thinking of it. Another interpretation is to say her dementia is getting worse and she has shown that she needs more care than we thought last week. This is the first time I have witnessed something like this and there is a range of emotion that goes with it. Even though this would have been a true statement before it has more weight now: My grandmother as I knew her is fading away.  This realization just sort of hit me last night.

Maybe that had something to do with the crazy-ass dream I had last night? I woke up realizing that I had dreamed all night.  It was like a very long movie in which I was starring as one of the victims in a very sick psychological thriller. I won't go into the details, but I will say I was creeped out most of the morning.

What got my through my day was simple: my breath. Being able to just return back to my present moment through tuning into one of my most essential actions, breathing, was all I needed to get me out of that hectic head space.  When I look around at what's in front of me, instead of wallow in the mind-stuff, I see the wonderfulness that is my life and am able to focus at my tasks at hand.

I know that it is also important to take some time out for the things that deeply affect me. Breathing is getting me through that too.